Alyson’s 2/22 Tarot：停滯 Stagnation
Alyson’s 2/22 Tarot：停滯 Stagnation
心裡感到疲乏、無趣。
心裡感到空洞、空虛。
我就像是秋末凋零的花朵、枯萎的樹枝，
沒有精神，沒有活力，沒有生氣，沒有靈魂。
“停滯”這張塔羅牌，最近是宇宙很頻繁給我的訊息，另一個多次抽到的塔羅牌是”恐懼”。
我真的知道自己應該要活動起來，要開始有所行動，
但，思緒就是常飄走，無法集中，無法專注，無法成事。
大家都不知道，最近我有多討厭自己。
在我的心裡，始終沒有做出最後的決定。
又想繼續有收入，又想維持現在的生活方式。
又想走進人群團體，過去受的傷又讓我感到恐懼。
以為把自己逼到一個程度，思緒就會開闊，未來會更清晰。
塔羅，當然有幫助。
可，當自己都不知道想要什麼的時候，誰又能給妳明確的訊息呢？
去年年底時，跟朋友說，一切就看2024年。
今年一月時，腦袋裡跟自己說，一切等過完年再看。
現，春節已結束，大家都開工多日了，而我 …. 沒有決定。
Feeling weary and uninterested.
Feeling hollow and empty.
I'm like a flower wilting in late autumn, a withered branch, Lacking spirit, lacking vitality, lacking vigor, lacking soul.
The "Stagnation" tarot card has been a frequent message from the universe lately, another card I've drawn multiple times is "Fear".
I know I should get moving, start taking action,
But my thoughts keep drifting, unable to focus, unable to concentrate, unable to accomplish anything.
No one really knows how much I've been hating myself lately. In my heart, I still haven't made a final decision.
Wanting to keep earning, wanting to maintain my current lifestyle.
Wanting to step into crowds and groups, yet the past wounds make me feel fearful.
I thought pushing myself to a certain point would broaden my thoughts, make the future clearer.
Tarot, of course, has been helpful.
But when you don't even know what you want, who can give you clear messages?
At the end of last year, I told my friends, let's see how 2024 goes.
In January this year, I told myself, let's wait until after the Lunar New Year.
Now, the Spring Festival has passed, everyone has been back to work for days, and I... still haven't made a decision.
