1.
我的最後一個願望是希望我爸可以活過來。
For my last wish, I wished my dad to be alive again.
我站在他的墳墓上笑著，想像著他一邊尖叫一邊對著棺材蓋拳打腳踢，就如同我前兩次許願讓他活過來時一樣。
I stood atop his grave and smiled, imagining him screaming and clawing at his coffin lid as he did the two previous times I wished him back.
原文網址：https://bit.ly/2y9yF9K
2.
「恭喜妳，又是一位男孩。」
“Congratulations, it’s another boy.”
護士疲累地將第14號嬰兒放下，而全場的人都在猜想我身體裡究竟還有幾個胎兒。
The nurse wearily handed off baby #14, and everyone wondered how many more would come out of me.
原文網址：https://bit.ly/3bLNePu
3.
我女兒跟我說：「我好興奮今天要去找奶奶玩了！」
My daughter told me "I'm excited to visit grandma today!"
「是呀，妳肯定會玩得很愉快的。」我一邊說著，一邊將她脖子上的套索拴緊。
"Oh yes, you'll have tons of fun," I said tightening her noose.
原文網址：https://bit.ly/2y0lE2n
4.
自從出車禍後我陷入了昏迷，不能走動也不能說話，但我太太仍然每天都來陪伴我。
Ever since the accident I've been in a coma, unable to move or talk, but my wife visits every day to keep me company.
我只能祈求上帝讓我有辦法告訴她關於床蝨的事。
I just wish to god I could tell her about the bedbugs
原文網址：https://bit.ly/3bZHIbO
5.
自從我在公園裡摔了一跤後，我的眼睛一直抽搐扭動著。
Ever since I fell in the park, my eye has been twitching and straining.
但是我也害怕把針抽出來的後果。
But I’m scared of what will happen if I pull the needle out.
原文網址：https://bit.ly/3eXWMJ4
6.
我兒子跟我說他愛睡覺是因為他完全記得所夢到的一切。
My son told me that he loves to sleep because he remembers everything that he dreams about.
昨天他割掉了他的眼皮以防止自己睡著。
Yesterday he cut his eyelids off so that he wouldn't fall asleep.
原文網址：https://bit.ly/3aMinkt
7.
還是好癢呀。
The itch is still there
可惜已經沒有皮膚可以抓了。
Too bad there is no more skin to scratch
原文網址：https://bit.ly/3bOzQdo
8.
「媽，我的床底下有人！」我兒子說著，我一邊憋笑一邊讓他帶我到他房間裡。
“Mom, there’s someone under my bed!”, our son said, and I tried not to laugh as he led me to his room.
我們原本是要來場精彩的惡作劇，但是現在待在床底下的人並不是我丈夫。
We’d come up with a great prank, but the man waiting under the bed wasn’t my husband.
原文網址：https://bit.ly/2VKmVn3
9.
煙霧環繞著我，而我只能勉強看到告示牌上說著：「警告：發生火災時請勿乘坐電梯。」
As the smoke surrounded me, I just managed to read the sign that said "Warning: Do not use the elevator in case of a fire"
我嘆了口氣，依然按了電梯鈕，然後坐回我的輪椅上等著電梯。
I sighed, and pushed the button anyways, and sat back in my wheelchair waiting for the elevator to arrive.
原文網址：https://bit.ly/3f2TDYw
10.
把那一堆頭髮從浴缸的排水孔裡拔出來還真是噁心，但接著我居然找到了牙齒。
It was gross pulling all the hair out of the bath's plug hole, but then I found the teeth.
媽的勒，網站上明明說用強酸就可以溶解所有東西的！
Dammit, the website said the acid would dissolve EVERYTHING！
原文網址：https://bit.ly/2yYoGE7