2024 1108 陸陸：皇帝 Emperor
辛苦了，陸陸，一位新手媽媽。
照顧剛出生三個多月寶寶的妳，在做自己和成為一個好媽媽的角色中徘徊，猶豫中的妳常感到痛苦與辛苦。
痛苦的是，妳覺得怎會有這樣的心態出現，感覺好像對不起自己的寶寶。
辛苦的是，這樣的猶豫與不決，發生的頻率非常高，讓妳在寶寶入睡時，明明已經很累了，卻捨不得休息，因妳害怕著，若不抓住這短短的時間，那妳就更沒有時間，更沒有機會做自己了。
現在的妳，精神不好，體力不佳，沒有人家說的坐完月子，讓身體充分休息與獲得營養滋補的豐腴模樣。
和老公的小小家庭中，不僅沒有人協助，內心的孤單、徬徨更讓妳覺得難過，即使想跟老公說說心裡話，看著他辛苦工作回來後疲憊的樣子，妳內心裡再多的苦澀，也說不出口。
想跟娘家媽媽訴說，又怕遭到責罵。
於是妳決定找我聊聊。
懷孕經驗，我沒有。
生產經驗，我沒有，但有長年痛經的經驗，妳說，這妳不需要。
坐月子經驗，我沒有。
照顧寶寶的經驗，我只有1/10，夠嗎？
妳說妳笑了出來，當看到我這樣的回應時。
其實，人類始終都是多重角色在生存著。
當我們還小的時候，是孩子，甚至是孫子輩，是兄弟姊妹，也是學生，還有同學與朋友。
長大了，是上班族，但依然還有著孩子的角色，幸福的人也還保有孫
子角色，男女朋友，下屬，同事還有朋友。
當成為媽媽之後，不代表需要漠視、忽視、放棄其他角色。
無論我們一身具備哪些角色，我們自己，絕對不能遺忘呀。
自己是所有其他角色的延伸。
記得自己，照顧自己，認識自己，唯有自己好，其他角色才能做得好。
因此我給妳的建議是，寶寶休息睡覺時，把握這時間，妳也好好休息。寶寶醒來的時候，可以跟寶寶互動，也可讓寶寶自己玩耍，老公回來跟寶寶親近時，這個時段，可以跟老公討論，讓妳做自己想做的事情，即使妳只是躺在沙發上，那也可以，就是不要打擾妳，中斷妳在進行的事情。
平衡，讓我們得以持續擁有能量與力量往前繼續邁進。
宇宙送給妳的塔羅牌祝福是【皇帝 Emperor】。
我腦海中浮現的感受是，請將妳的寶寶視為皇帝，妳是導引他，輔助他，給予他愛和支持的母后。
要成為一個優秀的生命導師，要先有堅強的心智與人生的智慧，要先學習人生的真理與世界運行的道理，要懂得鼓勵與支持，堅持教育與教導，懂得設定目標與堅強地朝目標努力。
當妳明白妳所學習到的，經驗積累的，都是需先成就自己，才有機會傳承給孩子時，成為自己與成為一個好母親，其實是同一件事情，也就不需經歷選擇的過程，也就不會有兩難的痛苦。
祝福陸陸 ~ 妳能想到這樣的猶豫困擾，妳就是已踏上智慧的路途上，成為妳孩子溫暖的依靠。
2024-11-08 To Lulu: The Emperor
Thank you, Lulu, a new mother.
Caring for a baby just over three months old, you find yourself wavering between being yourself and becoming a good mother. In your hesitation, you often feel both pain and struggle. The painful part is the thought that these feelings somehow mean you’re letting your baby down. The struggle lies in how often these indecisions arise, leaving you reluctant to rest even when your baby sleeps—fearing that if you don’t seize these fleeting moments, you’ll have even less time, even fewer chances, to be yourself.
Right now, you’re physically and mentally exhausted. You haven’t had the full rest and nourishing care some say should follow the postpartum period. In your small family with your husband, not only is there no extra help, but the loneliness and uncertainty sometimes feel overwhelming. Even when you want to confide in your husband, seeing him come home so tired from work makes you hesitate, keeping your bitterness inside. You think about talking to your mother, but you’re afraid she might scold you. So, you decided to talk with me.
I have no experience with pregnancy. I have no experience with childbirth, though I do know the long struggle of painful menstruation. But you said that wasn’t what you needed. I have no experience with postpartum care. I only have 1/10 of the experience in caring for a baby. Is that enough?
You said you laughed when you read my response. Actually, as humans, we always carry multiple roles in life. When we’re young, we’re children, grandchildren, siblings, students, classmates, and friends. As adults, we’re employees, still children, and for the lucky ones, still grandchildren, and we’re also partners, subordinates, colleagues, and friends. Becoming a mother doesn’t mean you have to ignore, neglect, or give up your other roles.
No matter what roles we take on, we must never forget ourselves. The self is the foundation from which all other roles extend. Remember yourself, care for yourself, and understand yourself. Only when you are well can you fulfill your other roles well.
So, my suggestion for you is to take time for yourself when the baby is asleep. Rest, and when the baby wakes, engage with them or let them play independently. When your husband comes home to connect with the baby, use this time to do something just for you—even if it’s simply lying on the couch, uninterrupted and undisturbed.
Balance allows us to sustain the energy and strength to keep moving forward. The tarot card blessing the universe sends you is The Emperor. The feeling that arises in my mind is this: see your baby as the Emperor, and you as the Empress guiding, supporting, loving, and nurturing him. To be an outstanding life guide requires a strong heart and life wisdom. You must first learn the truths of life and understand the principles by which the world operates. It involves learning to encourage and support, committing to teaching and guiding, and setting goals while steadfastly working towards them.
When you understand that everything you learn and every experience you gain are all for building yourself so that you may someday pass this on to your child, you’ll realize that becoming yourself and becoming a good mother are, in fact, the same path. There will be no more choices to make, no painful dilemmas to face.
Blessings to you, Lulu. Just by reflecting on these struggles and hesitations, you’ve already stepped onto the path of wisdom, becoming the warm support your child can rely on.